DEAR JANE: I'm terrified my wife has unknowingly joined a CULT - she says it's a self-help group but I know there is something more sinister going on

Dear Jane,

I'm concerned my woman has accidentally joined a cult.

She's ne'er been nan astir assured of women and she hasn't had a batch of adjacent individual friends successful her life. But that is thing that she's really been moving connected changing successful caller years. 

As portion of that endeavor, she joined a section 'self thief meditation group' because she felt for illustration that would beryllium an easy measurement to commencement hanging astir pinch different people, without really having to make conversation.

That was six months agone – and now, she's fundamentally spending each of her clip pinch this group astatine their 'clubhouse', which is nan 'organizer's' individual home. It's a distant workplace that has tons of land… and someway he's convinced my woman and nan different members of this alleged meditation nine to donate thousands of dollars to thief him renovate it. 

My woman keeps telling maine that it's an finance for a friend, and that he has promised to salary them each back, but honestly I'm getting really concerned.

When she isn't moving – which seems to return up a batch little of her clip these days – she's astatine this farm. The different time she told maine that her 'organizer' had them each doing manual labour successful nan grounds, moving piles of dirt, mowing lawns, and moreover laying bricks for a caller structure.

She ever returns from these 'meetings' pinch a immense grin connected her face, which is awesome to see, but it's worrying maine conscionable really overmuch clip – and money – she's spending astatine this place. 

The different time she fto gaffe that immoderate of nan different members were having unfastened relationships pinch 1 different and that was what really pushed maine complete nan edge.

Not to look dramatic, but this sounds for illustration thing retired of a Netflix documentary and I'm terrified that nan adjacent clip she comes home, she'll beryllium telling stories astir animal sacrifices aliases revealing that she's astir to move to this workplace for good.

I've tried broaching nan taxable pinch her a mates of times and she ever goes connected nan defensive, asking why I'd want to return her friends distant from her erstwhile she yet feels for illustration she belongs for nan first clip successful her life.

I've moreover asked to be meetings pinch her but she said that she was concerned my 'bad energy' would 'upset nan balance' of their meetings.

How tin I make her spot nan very clear ray of time here?

From,

Unconsciously Culty

Dear Unconsciously Culty,

You are rather correct to person been pushed complete nan edge, and I americium truthful gladsome you are now starting to look for advice. 

The truth that your woman has donated thousands of dollars - pinch only nan seemingly vague committedness that she (and everyone else) will beryllium reimbursed - was your first reddish flag. I dislike to beryllium nan bearer of bad news, but it does so look that location is thing distinctly fishy astir this group.

Meditation is simply a awesome thing, arsenic is uncovering a caring organization adjacent to wherever you live. 

But erstwhile money starts to get involved, together pinch concerned partners being deemed arsenic having 'negative energy' if they situation knock what is going on, not to mention being kept distant from nan 'clubhouse', it does look to travel nan playbook of a cult.

I americium truthful sorry this is happening to you, and so your wife. 

The problem pinch these kinds of organizations is that they thin to person some charismatic and authoritarian leaders, astatine slightest to nan group who are caught wrong nan web. 

I will ne'er understand nan entreaty of Keith Raniere of NXIVM, who branded female followers, and claimed to person 1 of nan highest IQ's successful nan world, yet ever said delirium and seemed to beryllium a complete dope. 

These group are experts astatine brainwashing their followers done isolation, hierarchy, and closed groups that outsiders cannot infiltrate unless they, truthful to speak, portion nan kool-aid.

This is already happening pinch your wife, and unfortunately, pinch nan group now starting to isolate her from you, I ideate she will soon beryllium isolated from anyone other successful her life who questions what this group is doing.

The champion proposal I tin springiness is for you to interaction nan experts, because erstwhile personification has been caught up successful a cult, they request to beryllium professionally deprogrammed. There are galore resources online, and my proposal to you is to commencement pulling successful nan experts arsenic soon arsenic possible, to fig retired a scheme of action to get your woman back.

I wish you truthful overmuch luck.