Dear Abby: I have a secret apartment my husband doesn’t know about

DEAR ABBY: I person been deceiving my hubby for a mates of months and can’t fig retired really to travel clean. I consciousness for illustration a unspeakable person. We person been joined 17 years, and during nan first 4 aliases 5 we were happy. We don’t person very galore disagreements, but erstwhile we do, he ever wins. This is because he’s intense, intelligent and very intimidating, truthful I ever backmost down. 

I americium truthful uncomfortable pinch him and observant astir what I opportunity that it has started to make maine depressed and anxious. I’m successful therapy and trying difficult to speak up for myself. 

The deception I speak of is that I person rented an flat successful different municipality and person lied to him astir trips to spot my sister, my girl and my mother conscionable truthful I tin consciousness immoderate peace, publication a book, knit, and conscionable … be. He has nary thought because our finances are abstracted (his choice). 

I’m acrophobic to show my hubby I want to time off him because a fewer years agone I expressed really unhappy I was and said I didn’t admit this small, frightened type of myself. He went from frighteningly furious to crying and begging maine to stay. I felt truthful blameworthy that I stayed. He knows I’m unhappy. He moreover knows his quiet, underlying rage scares me. His pitiful begging maine to enactment makes maine consciousness for illustration a bad person. 

I consciousness truthful overmuch amended erstwhile I’m distant from him, but I’m terrified astir really he’ll respond erstwhile I opportunity I want to time off for good. I cognize that erstwhile I do stitchery nan courage, I’ll apt suffer everything we person together. Please counsel me. — FACING THE TRUTH

DEAR FACING: The clip to talk to an lawyer is now, good successful beforehand of taking immoderate action. Doing truthful will thief you to find precisely what benignant of financial deed you whitethorn suffer if you travel done pinch your scheme to leave. Since your finances are separate, it whitethorn not beryllium arsenic bad arsenic you fear. 

Because you are fearful for your safety, you should besides interaction nan National Domestic Violence Hotline astatine 800-799-7233 (thehotline.org). The folks location tin thief you to formulate a safe flight plan.

DEAR ABBY: My important different loves to play video games. I judge he has go addicted. I don’t cognize really to show him capable is enough. I would emotion to beryllium heard and noticed by him, but he is excessively infatuated pinch his video games. I person moreover participated successful his hobby pinch him. Am I nan “bad guy” for wanting value time? What tin I do? — LOSING THE GAME IN MARYLAND

DEAR LOSING: There is thing incorrect pinch playing video games — unless it becomes an obsession. Tell your important different that if he wants your narration to continue, he is going to person to give much clip to it. Tell him you nary longer consciousness you are noticed aliases heard, and that it is hurtful. How he reacts will show you each you request to cognize astir whether your romance tin beryllium saved.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, besides known arsenic Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby astatine DearAbby.com aliases P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.